He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
