It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
