it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
