I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
