im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
