how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
