when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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