well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize