I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We have started to decorate penises.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
