Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
