so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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