he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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