I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
