I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
