she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
