you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
