I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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