$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
