you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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