that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
