I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Randomize
