How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
