yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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