OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
