best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize