I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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