Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize