I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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