i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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