i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize