If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I cut my penus on the lid.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
