so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
