I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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