I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
