i don't like sucking hair
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize