32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize