After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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