thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
