hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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