I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
