Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
