just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
