Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
