I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
