Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
