***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize