there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
