Where did you get a picture of my penis
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
