Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
