he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
