Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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