so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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