dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
