I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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