me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize