I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
