She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
