Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The air was thick with penises
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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