Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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