Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
