I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize